Support Meeting #1

I have started attending a support meeting group for parents who lost an infant while in the later stages of utero, still birth, or within the first year of life. This group will be meeting every week for 9 weeks, January 26- March 23 at Cornerstone in Independence, OH. We will reflect our feelings, share out feelings, support one another, and the best thing for me- to learn about how to deal appropriately with an infant loss.

The first class, I went by myself. I was ok with this because I am never going to tell a person how to grieve and what they should do. I mentioned it to Frank and he wanted more time to think about it. I went to the first group meeting and went home and told Frank all about it. Now Frank will be coming to join us starting next week. There are 5 other couples and 2 moderators of the group. I felt so great meeting other people. I knew that we were not the only people who experienced an infant loss but going to this group and seeing other couples have had the same experience in common unfortunately was so refreshing to me. I know I am not the only one, not that I ever thought that but seeing these other parents who are hurting the same way I am made me feel like I really fit in here.

We started by sitting in a circle. I was the first person to enter the room and sit down. I was by myself and everyone else was a couple so I wanted to sit next to one of the moderators just in case I needed someone to help me. On the other side of me was a woman named Maria who was there with her husband Nick. I feel like I "connected" with her from the start. We went around the circle and we introduced ourselves, stated what our current job was, and what our dream job is. I went first and as everyone else kept speaking, little details about our losses came up. Throughout each of us talking, I started to tell people that I had the same problem or agreed with them. Next, we learned about how to be respectful to the other adults in the room and covered guidelines of the group. Next we filled our registration forms and received some homework assignments for the next week. We are to fill out a survey on feelings we have experienced in the last week. Also, we have a shield and in the first quadrant, we are to write our baby's name and think of a word that describes our baby for every letter in the name. The last project that we did to end the group is look at a map and a list of cars. We had to say our form of transportation and where we were on the map. Forms of transportation included mini van, semi, old beat up car, sports car, a bike, and horse and carriage. On the map, locations included guilty gully, frightened woods. anger, sad, etc. I chose the mini van because I feel safe in the mini van. Not moving too fast and not moving too slow. It was interesting to here what everyone else had to say. We ended the class in a prayer.

Each week, I look forward to updating on my blog how each support group meeting goes over the course of 9 weeks.