Hello to all of my friends, family, and followers!
I am sorry that it has been awhile since I checked in yet. I am having a quiet evening at home while Frank is out of town for work until tomorrow morning. I have to say that I love every second I have with my husband that when he is home, I like to be with him. He is my rock and the one person who just gets me. It is an amazing feeling! The last thing I want to do is take time away from my husband, my best friend, and my family.
What is new with me you might ask. We had a great summer, we celebrated Frankie's first birthday and "angelversary", busy with work, and ohhhh yes I can't forget that today I am 20 weeks pregnant with my 2nd child! Eeeeeekkkk... I am halfway there, OMG! I can't even stand it as I smile ear to ear at this very moment! The gender will be announced next weekend at a party with our families. To say I am excited and feeling very blessed is an understatement!
Of course this pregnancy is accompanied with every emotion that you can imagine. One thing that I can promise you is that Frankie will always be our first son. I do have a child but he is in heaven, not here in my arms to watch over every day. It is hard being a mother but can you imagine how hard it is to be a mother to a child you can't physically see or talk to every day?
I worry about my child and think of him every morning as I am getting ready for work wondering what he is doing up there, is Grandma Allen rocking him to sleep multiple times a day, does he think about mommy and daddy, and most importantly- are we making him proud? I then leave for work and drive 50-60 minutes to work thinking about him again. It goes back to that very same question, is he proud of his mom and dad? Does he tell his angel friends about us? Then I go to work looking at his picture in my office and just look at him (sometimes just stare) and think he is the most precious little boy that I have ever met in my life. Let me tell you I have met some beautiful and adorable babies over my 34 years! Does he look at a picture of us or does he use his "baby angel abilities" and peek in on us every day? As he sits with his friends, does he tell them that he has a great mom and dad? By the end of the day, we close every night with a prayer to the best little angel boy out there. We thank him for watching over us that day, update him on news with our family or friends, tell him a joke or two (daddy is good at this), and tell him how much we love him as we blow him a kiss.
With above describing our typical day, I feel like my son is proud of us. He knows that we are thinking about him. He knows that we love him. Frankie knows that we want him here with us but the second best place would be in my Grandma's arms. If one person that would do a better job then I would as a mom, it is Grandma Allen. I can rest my head on the pillow every night knowing that my son is safe, he is proud, and he is having the time of his life up there in heaven.
Mom and Dad love you to the moon and back Frankie!
P.S.- I promise I will be writing more now. After taking a break, I miss my blog. I miss sharing it with the ones we love. It is also one of the most therapeutic things I can do for my mind during the upcoming 17-20 weeks until Baby Cirillo #2 is here in our arms in mid- January. Thank you for sharing in our excitement and the continued support during this journey. XOXO
