Week 5

Week 5- 2/14- 2/20

How big- No current weight. I would guess just over 8lbs.

Clothing Size- newborn. He is starting to bust out of his newborn sweat pants that he loves to wear from Carter’s. I picked him up a new set this weekend. A few other newborn outfits they are pretty snug.

Eating- About every 3.5-4 hours.

Sleeping- At night he will sleep in about 4 hour stretches. He will get up twice during the night to eat but goes right to sleep after. This week it started a new trend with sleeping (or lack of thereof) that he naps about a hour at most all day.

Movements- Sammy is moving a lot more now. He loves to move to the beat of music. One of his favorite places to move around at is on the ottoman while he looks at the lights if they are on. He moves so much that his entire body will move and he will move from one end of the mat to the other.

Milestones- His eyelashes are starting to come in. Sammy will also follow your fingers snapping with his eyes. He will also follow toys and lights with his eyes. His hand to eye coordination is getting advanced! Then when we went to go visit Dad at work, he had a short belly laugh while sleeping in daddy’s arms as we were discussing his best friend the living room light. He stares and watches that light for hours a day. He is going to hate me one day for all the teasing we give him about the light.

Hardest Moment- I had one day where he didn’t want to sleep and was fussy the entire day. I started doubting myself as a mom and I had my own Mommy meltdown that day when Frank got home to listen. I have a hard time (as every parent does) when their child is upset and crying inconsolably.

Best Moment- Going to visit Daddy at work. He was so proud to show us off to everyone. Sammy was so well behaved and let all the ladies hold him while being a perfect angel the whole time! We also visited my work this week to prepare me to go back in a few weeks. Again, he was a perfect angel for everyone!

Highlights- Sammy is one month old on Valentine’s Day!  Sammy’s first Valentine’s Day and he wore his Valentine’s Day onsie which was the cutest! We took some 1 month old pictures this week. One of them that I had on my phone was so cute! He was looking up and out the window. Couldn’t help but think that he was watching his brother Frankie out the window. Great Mom moment right there! Mom and Dad also went out on our first date since Sammy’s arrival while Nonna and Papa were here visiting. He was perfect for them and we had such a wonderful date. The date was so appreciated and I really needed to connect with my husband for a few hours.

Week 4

Week 4 2/7-2/13

How big- no current weight. This is a big step for me but I have decided to stop obsessing over the numbers and the weight. He goes to the Dr. on 2/24 so we will find out his weight then. He looks healthy and I would estimate he is about 8lbs now.

Clothing Size- Newborn.

Eating- my little guy is happy, healthy, and eating J

Sleeping- Right now he is still sleeping at night with us and he gets up to eat about every 4 hours. This week he did sleep for 3 hours in the crib alone for a nap. Yay Sammy! Thank goodness for white noise because often he won’t sleep without it.

Movements- He likes to kick a lot when we unswaddle him and put him on the ottoman. We joke that he exercises and dances every moment we have him free from the swaddle. He now has learned how to pull his right arm out of the swaddle, he breaks his arm out every time.  He also does the funniest thing now, he will be in his swing and covered up. We will be sitting on the couch and we will look over at him and he waves his hand over the blanket at us. Seriously, the funnest thing this kid does on most days. Watching that little hand stretching over the blanket and it peeking out over the blanket at us at random moments.

Milestones- We have been getting more smiles lately. He has this smirk thing he does and one side of his mouth stays up and one stays down. Cute cute cute! I love our morning snuggles when he is the happiest and we play, smile, and stay awake for hours together. This is my favorite time of day to bond with him.

Hardest moment- Sammy had a huge meltdown on Monday 2/10 in the evening.  I was upstairs watching TV and the boys were down here. Huge crying uncontrollably spell. This then led to a family meltdown where Mom cried because Dad only gets to see him for a few hours in the evening and Sammy is here crying to no end. Dad feels like he can’t calm him down and that Sammy is unhappy with him. Lots of talking, some quiet time, and a big family hug all together put out this moment.  We as a family will be the first to say that the newborn stage is tough. Each week it is getting better and better.

Best moment- The other night when Frank got home from work and he was cuddling Sammy on the couch. Frank was talking to him and they were having a good time while I was sitting at the other end of the couch. It was music to my ears to hear this conversation and the laughs. Then I hear Frank say “ Sammy just smiled at me”! We were waiting for Frank to have this moment and the moment happened! I don’t know if anyone would know the extent of my happiness after this.

Highlights- Nonna is here to visit. She came over on Tuesday night and we hung out here at the house. On Wednesday 2/12- Sammy stayed home with Nonna while I had to do a few things in the afternoon. That evening we went to a work going away party in which Nonna and Sammy were the guests of honor! On Thursday 2/13- we went to Hobby Lobby and came home to do a craft-a-palooza for Valentines Day. Sammy loved craft day!

Week 3

Week 3  1/31-2/6

How big- weight check in on2/3 with lactation consultant was 7lbs 4oz. Go Team Sam!

Clothing size- newborn. I don’t see us leaving this size anytime real soon.

Eating- We had a weighted feed (if you are having trouble BF, this is something that you need to ask for. It will allow you to know what amount of food he is getting with each session) with Sammy breast feeding on 2/3 with the specialist. For 15 minutes on each side. One side he ate 4cc in 15 minutes and then 2cc after 15 minutes on the other side. It confirmed that I am not crazy, I honest to god have no milk to give this little guy going on 3 week post partum. Discouraging for me as a mother but we need to focus and move forward with other options. I will not be able to solely breast feed unfortunately but we are going to keep trying. Right now we can’t seem to break the 45cc (ounce and half) mark with each feeding.

Sleep- LC told me it was ok to not wake him every 3 hours and let him go to every 4 if he will sleep that long. We never made it past about 3 hours so Sam must have become adjusted to last week’s schedule. As long as he is eating and gaining weight, that is ok. I don’t mind.

Movement- this little guy is Italian. He has been speaking (screaming) with his hands since day 4 of life. His hands are always out there grabbing at everything. I am kind of in love with his hands!

Milestones- Sammy stays awake more in the day. We sing, read books, and cuddle. Even when we are cuddling, his eyes are open big and he is staring right at me! Also, we are doing trial runs in the crib with his naps. He had 2 days of 30 minutes and one day where he made it 2 hours after the library story time that I kept him awake for. Nobody wants a sleeping baby in library story time but he stayed awake for most of it!

Hardest Moment- having the specialist tell me I solely cannot feed my child on breast feeding because I don’t produce enough milk. This was not an easy thing to hear and I feel like my body is defeating me. I keep reminding myself Happy Mom= Happy Baby so stop obsessing. Also, as long as he is eating and gaining weight, that is what is important.

Best Moment- Our family/newborn pictures. OMG… I can’t believe how amazing these pictures turned out to be. I think I can look at these and awww for hours!

Highlights- Diaper changes, yes I know life has changed! It is now become like an action adventure. Dodging poop coming at you mid change and beating the clock in the middle of the change to work fast and efficiently when you know another rush is coming to get a diaper up there quick enough. On the urine note, we had some pee in the face this week. No it was not mine or Frank’s but in Sam’s. He waits until we have the old diaper off and in that few seconds lapse between putting on a fresh one to pee all over the place. Our life will now never be the same in case there was any doubt. Yes folks, diaper changes have become the highlight of the week. Don’t you dare judge us!

Week 2

Week 2- 1/24-1/30

How big- At the weight check on Tuesday we are up 8oz in 4 days!!!!!! 6lbs12oz. Go Sammy (and mom &dad too) for the hard work.

Clothing size- newborn

Eating-  We have now moved to supplementing each feed with 1oz of formula or breast milk pumped in a bottle rather then using the syringe or SNS pump (biggest pain in the a$$). I may have contemplated throwing it outside and hiding it in the 10 foot snow pile at the end of the driveway. We are feeding every 2.5-3 hours.

Sleep- we are getting better developing his schedule. He will sleep better at night now and I am having to wake him up to eat rather than him waking me up wide eyed and bushy tailed like what we had happening last week.

Movement- Sam LOVES to have his hands in the way every single chance he can get. He grabs everything, pulls at all the things, and is kicking those long legs all day long (yes even in his sleep)!

Milestones- Gaining 8oz in 4 days. I am sorry to keep focusing on the eating/feeding/and weight numbers but it is a HUGE deal to us.

Hardest Moment- when we (yes it was a joint decision) to get rid of the SNS pump and introduce the bottle to Sammy. This was something I didn’t want to do and kept sticking to my gun that we were not going to “give in” and use a bottle. After watching my little man get so upset and anxious with inserting a “foley like tube” into his mouth to fake him out while he would pull it out himself every time about at least 10 times each feed, we had to develop a better option.

Best Moment- we joke as parents that we will joke about this when Sammy is a teenager, a grown up, and when he brings his future wife home. We had to tape the pump to my camera tripod so it would hang to gravity to allow the formula to go down the tube. I couldn’t keep it close or in his sight because he would pull it out and grab at it. Poor guy hated that thing as much as we did so we know that this son is a Cirillo since he had the same thoughts as us. If you all could only see us taping a pump contraption to a tripod to trick him out that the pump was not being used. We have one smart and observant kid on our hands here!

Highlights- sorry to focus on the numbers and feeding again but my little peanut gained 8oz in 4 days. For this, I am proud of Mom, Dad, and Sammy.

Week 1

Week 1 (1/17-1/23)

How big- Sam was born at 7lbs3oz. At discharge on 1/21, Sam was 6lbs4oz. He had a weight loss of 13.25% while in the hospital. On 1/22, Sam was 6lbs7oz when meeting with the lactation consultant.

Clothing size- Newborn- Newborn is swimming on him.

Eating- We had to start supplementing in the hospital, which was not my plan. This has been a huge concern and issue for us. It has also been a self confidence issue, regret, and very heavy on my heart as a mother.

Sleep- Huh?? This week Sam likes to be up all night and sleep all day. Party animal here folks.

Movement- he loves to kick his long, muscular legs every moment he can.

Milestones- being born. This little guy was very long awaited by many people. I have never been prouder in my entire life to say our rainbow baby is here!

Hardest Moment- Weight loss tied with having to put him under the bili lights for 24 hours. He hated it so much and it broke my heart that I couldn’t hold him to comfort him. I hate to have my newborn baby screaming and I can’t go and scoop him up to make him better. Since we could not hold him except to feed him, I would make sure to have his feedings last for at least a hour.

Best Moment- being discharged from the hospital. Our miracle baby was coming home with us!

Hospital Days- Thursday 1/16-Tuesday 1/21. More than ready to go home!

Coming home- We left the hospital at 11am on Tuesday 1/21. We stopped downstairs to say goodbye to Aunt Manda before leaving the hospital. So many people came to cheer us on as we left, people who didn’t even know us but knew of our story that it made me tear up. Felt so unbelievably blessed. Frank drove us home while I sat in the back seat with Sam. We had about a 50 minute drive home from the hospital. I spent 55 minutes of the drive in the backseat crying happy tears while staring at this gift from heaven. The coming home process was more emotional then the labor part for me. We were finally bringing a baby home!

First Dr’s visit- I always knew who I wanted Sammy’s  doctor to be. I feel like it was the best decision I made and couldn’t feel more comfortable with who he is seeing. A doctor who I used to work with who has values, goals, and the personality that I can agree with. I am very picky about doctors but I don’t have to second guess myself even once wondering if I made the right decision.  At the first appointment, we weighed Sam who was still 6lbs4oz. This was hard for me because I have been breast feeding him and supplementing him with 30cc (1ounce) at every feed every 2-2.5 hours. Insert emotional breakdown while we were left in the room alone. Thank goodness Frank was there with me to help. I wouldn’t have been able to keep my cool. The doctor gave us lots of reassurance with the weight and knows me well because I think he could tell how upset and concerned I was. He agreed with our current plan of breastfeeding as Sam would like and supplementing with 1ounce. I also am pumping with every feed for 20 minutes. The doctor said it was up to us if we wanted to keep waking Sam up to eat. The doctor felt that it is important for me to be sleeping more since we are a week post-partum and I still don’t have a milk supply in yet. We will extend his feedings to every 2.5-3 hours. I will also bring Sam back on Tuesday for another weight check. The doctor is very happy with his color and doesn’t feel we need to be concerned about jaundice. Sam is doing great!

Highlights- This week was full of highlights. Having Sam born safely and healthy, coming home, and walking through the front door with Sam were beyond highlights this week. I just can't believe we have our rainbow baby here, healthy, and home with us. We owe a very special thank you to his big brother upstairs <3

38 weeks

I am in shock right now, 38 weeks pregnant! I need to allow myself a minute to let this all sink in. With Frankie, I went into the hospital on 38 days on the spot to be induced for blood pressure concerns with Frankie. We are down to the wire now and we are anxiously waiting for our world to be changed for the next 18 years!

I have been working very hard on keeping Sammy growing as long as I have. I was having some blood pressure issues about a month back and had to be put on modified bed rest. My long work days combined with a 1+ hour drive each direction was becoming a 13-14 hour day. I had no other choice but to accept my new role as a mother before I could hold my baby in my arms. It has been a long 4 weeks but if I didn't do this, I was going to go into labor by week 36 and a good chance of having another NICU stay. We know this little man is as healthy as a baby can be as we have every test in the book proving that to us every week. We just want that moment of leaving the hospital with our baby in the car, pulling into the garage, and walking through our front door with our newest family member. I want us all to come home as a family together this time, not having to leave my baby at the hospital to sleep at night while I lie there awake not sleeping.

In the last month, we have had so much love and support from family and friends that we will never be able to say thank you enough or begin to show our appreciation. Friends coming over to keep me company, family visits, meals being prepared for us since it is hard for me to be cooking anything other then boiling water, the check in phone calls, and my work coworkers making sure I have at least one laugh a day with a work story or the latest news. Thank YOU all! I can't wait to begin returning these acts of kindness to others because I know how much something like this means.

I am doing great and Sammy is doing even better! Growing right on track. I would estimate him to be about 7lbs now based on our most recent ultrasounds. He likes to suck his thumb every time (totally advanced for his age- haha) and he still has those cute chubby cheeks that go on and on. One thing I have been thinking about is will he look like his brother. I have been taking time to stare at those newborn pictures we took the moment Frankie was born. Precious little boy and we are pretty convinced that Sammy is going to take after his brother.

We can't wait to start this new journey. It is going to be a very emotional process for all of us so please don't mind when I cry happy tears for a day straight as I snuggle my babe in the hospital. We will welcome all visitors but please don't hold it against me if Frank and I want to spend every second holding our baby. Those passes to family members will be there but I will be ready for the second that I can get him back!

If you are so inclined to help over the next few weeks, please keep us in your thoughts and prayers. Also, please be patient with us because this has been 3 years in the making and we are finally here. We had our glorious 6 days with Frankie and now we can't wait to have our fabulous life ahead of us now with the best looking angel in heaven watching us with constant happiness. I have not a worry in the world because with our angel in heaven, everything is going to be great.

Sam Frank P. Cirillo, you are our miracle and we can't wait to meet you!

34 weeks and...

I have given it all the effort I can but bed rest started on Friday. Off work indefinitely until after Sammy arrives. When I am sitting I have a great blood pressure but when I am up moving and doing things it starts to shoot up. To say I was shocked with the order from the Dr. is an understatement. After I had a few hours to think about it and put some things in perspective, it is the best thing for me and by far the best thing for Sammy. I am such a busy body person with social outings at least 2 weeknights a week, working full time and then some, and celebrating the holiday season that I must say it is going to be ok. No driving, no lifting, no exercising, and no strenuous activities but I will be making the best of it. Frank has been wonderful, beyond amazing actually. All that I used to do, he is now doing. Grocery shopping, cleaning, laundry, driving,  talking to all the family members for reports, and taking superb care of the both of us. I can't thank him enough!

What will Sammy and I be up to over the next few weeks- we have quite a schedule, rest assured of that! Friday was Day 1. We relaxed a ton, I was so happy checking my blood pressures and see fabulous numbers coming across. We watched a Christmas movie and started a daily activity where I read Sammy a book. We are going to go through all the Dr. Seuss books first. I couldn't think of a better book to start this with then Green Eggs and Ham (Sam I am!). I spend lots of time talking to Sammy and letting him know how excited we are to have him home with us soon. I swear I haven't lost my mind, he can hear my voice and he does recognize it, I promise :)  It is these little things that I am doing to connect with him while I have all this free time on my hands. Why wait until he gets here, start those Mom and baby bonding moments now. This week we are going to do lots of holiday wrapping of gifts, read daily stories, organize his drawers (again), rest, and TONS of relaxation. Thursday will be my day out with 2 Dr.'s appointments and a day with Manda so Frank is able to go to work. I will have someone with me to take me to my appointments and be there with me. Other then that, we will be stationed here in the house! I am already excited for Thursday to break out of the house and check on this perfect little boy!

What I can report is Sammy is doing great! Heart is perfect, activity is good, and size is great. I just need to watch myself and my activity to keep my blood pressure at bay to keep him growing for a little bit longer. They anticipate delivery in about 4 weeks all depending on his size, my blood pressure, and his lung maturity. I started with Frankie at 37 weeks and 6 days so they will keep that same schedule this time around as well. We are so excited to get him home with us but we want a healthy baby with no NICU needed this time around. Sammy can come whenever he is ready! We are prepared and ready to welcome him to this world!

Please keep all of us in your thoughts and prayers until we walk through this front door with this miracle. Until then, wish me luck as a full time Mom taking care of my baby!  XOXO